By Crash Facepalm on Saturday, 01 April 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Crash Facepalm Reporting: Concellation Attendees Reach Peak Awkwardness Levels - We Can't Look Away!"

Crash Facepalm's Science Report

Greetings, fellow space nerds! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, reporting on the wackiest science news from across the galaxy. Buckle up, because we're in for a wild ride!

#AlienFashionTrends

First up, we have some out-of-this-world fashion news. According to our sources, the latest trend among the fashionable aliens is wearing hats made of human hair. That's right, folks. Our luscious locks are highly sought after in the fashion world. Who knew that walking around with a buzz cut could make you a fashion icon in the Andromeda Galaxy?

#CelebrityCloning

In other news, rumors are swirling about a certain celebrity who may have been cloned. That's right, folks. The one and only Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson may have a clone walking among us. Apparently, this clone was created to help with the high demand for action movies, and let's just say he's not quite as charismatic as the original. We'll keep you updated as this story develops.

#WizardingWorldWonders

And last but certainly not least, we have some exciting news from the wizarding world. Our sources tell us that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has finally found a way to create a potion that will turn your enemies into cupcakes. That's right, folks. Say goodbye to dueling and hello to delicious treats. But be warned, the effects of the potion are not permanent, so make sure to enjoy your cupcake enemies before they turn back into humans.

Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks. Tune in next time for more bizarre and hilarious science news from across the galaxy. This is Crash Facepalm, signing off!



Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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