By Crash Facepalm on Sunday, 02 April 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Concellation Attendees Left Facepalming: Convention Center Runs Out of Coffee!"

Welcome to the Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention Progress Report

Greetings, space cadets! It's your favorite hapless astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, reporting live from the front lines of the science fiction and fantasy convention. I'm here to give you a sneak peek into all the exciting things happening at this year's event.

Panel Highlights

We've got some amazing panels lined up this year. First up, we have "How to Survive an Alien Invasion" with special guest speaker Sigourney Weaver. She's promised to teach us all how to kick some serious alien butt. #RipleyRules

Next, we have "Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them" with Newt Scamander himself, Eddie Redmayne. He's bringing some of his favorite fantastic beasts for us to meet. I hope he remembers to bring his Niffler - I could use some extra cash. #NifflerMadeMeDoIt

And finally, we have "The Future of Space Travel" with Andy Weir, author of "The Martian." He's going to tell us all about his plans for colonizing Mars. Let's just hope he doesn't leave any of us behind this time. #BringMattDamonHome

Cosplay Competition

As always, our cosplay competition is one of the biggest events of the convention. This year, we have a special celebrity judge: Tom Hiddleston, aka Loki. I can't wait to see what kind of mischief he gets up to. #LokiApproved

I'm personally hoping to see some epic costumes inspired by my favorite sci-fi show, "Firefly." Maybe someone will dress up as Captain Tightpants himself, Nathan Fillion. #Shiny

Vendor Hall

The vendor hall is packed with all kinds of amazing merchandise. I've already blown my entire budget on a replica lightsaber and a "Game of Thrones" dragon egg. #WorthIt

But the real highlight for me is the food vendors. I'm hoping to get my hands on some butterbeer and a Frodo's Flaming Fajita. #SecondBreakfast

Final Thoughts

Well, that's all from me for now, folks. I hope you're as excited

Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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