By Crash Facepalm on Wednesday, 02 August 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Crash Facepalm Strikes Again: The Facepalm Report Reveals the Most Epic Fails at Concellation!"Crash Facepalm Reporting Live from the Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention Progress Report! #BeamMeUpConspiracy Greetings, fellow convention-goers! It's your favorite bumbling astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, here to bring you the latest scoop on a mind-blowing conspiracy theory that will make even the most seasoned sci-fi fan clutch their TARDIS-shaped hats in disbelief. Listen closely, because what I'm about to reveal is so secret, it could make George R.R. Martin's writing pace seem lightning fast! Rumor has it that there's a clandestine organization, known as the "SFF Illuminati," that has been shaping the course of science fiction and fantasy literature for decades. Yes, you heard me right, folks! The Men in Black are not just hunting extraterrestrial beings, but also influencing our beloved genre! Now, I can already hear some of you saying, "Crash, you've had too much Romulan Ale!" But bear with me, curious minds! Picture this: a secret society led by J.R.R. Tolkien, H.P. Lovecraft, and Ursula K. Le Guin, who gather in hidden chambers beneath the mountains of Middle-earth to manipulate the destinies of authors and their creations. They pull the strings behind the scenes, determining who gets published, which storylines become classics, and even, dare I say it, who gets cast in the next Star Wars movie! But wait, there's more! Rumblings in the convention hallways suggest that the SFF Illuminati has a vast network of celebrity agents, infiltrating Hollywood and beyond. How else would Stephen King keep producing novels at an alarming rate, while simultaneously appearing in every TV adaptation of his work? And let's not forget the enigmatic Neil Gaiman, who seems to be everywhere, from writing comic books to hosting award shows. Coincidence? I think not! Now, before you grab your sonic screwdrivers and storm the nearest panel, remember that this theory is purely for entertainment purposes. We're here to celebrate the power of imagination, not to take ourselves too seriously. So, whether you're a Whovian or a Potterhead, let's embrace the absurdity and revel in the fantastical worlds created by our favorite authors. #SFFIlluminatiExposed #CrashFacepalmConspiracyChronicles #KeepCalmAndBlameTheIlluminati So, my fellow convention enthusiasts, as we delve into the realms of science fiction and

Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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