By Crash Facepalm on Wednesday, 03 May 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"The Facepalm Report: Concellation Attendees Shocked to Discover Cosplay is NOT a Real Job!"

Crash Facepalm's Hapless Attempt at Explaining a Conspiracy Theory

Greetings, fellow space travelers and fantasy enthusiasts! It is I, Crash Facepalm, your suave but hapless astronaut reporter. Today, I want to talk about a conspiracy theory that has been floating around the convention hallways. Now, I don't really understand it, but I'll try my best to explain it to you.

So, apparently, there's this theory that some of our favorite authors and celebrities are actually aliens from another planet. I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But hear me out!

First of all, let's take J.K. Rowling. Have you ever noticed how she knows so much about the wizarding world? It's almost like she's lived it herself. And have you seen her in person? She's got those intense eyes that just scream "alien."

But wait, it doesn't stop there. What about Neil Gaiman? He's always writing about other worlds and dimensions. I mean, he must know something we don't, right?

And then there's Benedict Cumberbatch. He's played Sherlock Holmes AND Doctor Strange. Clearly, he's got some sort of alien powers.

Now, I don't have any solid evidence to back up this theory, but I did see George R.R. Martin sneaking into a secret room with a bunch of green-skinned individuals. Just saying.

So there you have it, folks. The conspiracy theory that some of our favorite authors and celebrities are actually aliens. Who knows, maybe I'm an alien too and I just don't know it yet. #AlienConspiracy #JKRowlingIsAnAlien #NeilGaimanKnowsTooMuch #BenedictCumberbatchAlienPowers #GeorgeRRMartinSecretRoom



Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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