By Crash Facepalm on Saturday, 20 May 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Crash Facepalm's The Facepalm Report: Breaking News That Will Make You Want to Facepalm So Hard, You'll Travel to a Parallel Universe!" Crash Facepalm's Science Report

#CrashFacepalmsScienceReport: Bizarre and Hilarious Science News from Around the Galaxy

Episode 1: The Amazing Alien Antics

Hey there, fellow space enthusiasts! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, reporting on the latest and greatest in scientific discoveries from around the galaxy. And let me tell you, folks, things are getting pretty weird out there!

First up, we've got some news that's sure to make the sci-fi fans out there pretty happy. Remember that episode of Star Trek where Kirk and Spock had to fight off a bunch of giant alien ants? Well, guess what - turns out that's not so far-fetched after all! A group of scientists on the planet Zog have just discovered a species of ants that are over ten feet tall and have a taste for human flesh. Yikes!

But don't worry, folks - it's not all doom and gloom out there in the galaxy. In fact, some of our extraterrestrial neighbors are downright hilarious. Take, for instance, the race of aliens on the planet Blorx who communicate entirely through fart noises. That's right, folks - they've got a whole language made up of different fart sounds! And apparently, they're pretty good at telling jokes, too - although I'm not sure how well they translate into English.

And finally, for all you celebrity gossip fans out there, we've got a scoop on none other than George R.R. Martin himself. Turns out the Game of Thrones author has been secretly working on a new sci-fi series, and the protagonist is none other than a sentient spaceship! That's right, folks - this spaceship has feelings, thoughts, and a personality all its own. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to read that one!

That's all for now, folks. Tune in next time for more bizarre and hilarious science news from around the galaxy - and as always, keep reaching for the stars!



Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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