Crash Facepalm's Conspiracy Theory Report
Greetings, fellow sci-fi and fantasy enthusiasts! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, reporting live from the convention floor. Today, I want to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for a while: the conspiracy theory that authors and celebrities are secretly aliens.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Crash, that's ridiculous!" But hear me out. Have you ever noticed how some authors seem to have an otherworldly talent for creating intricate, fantastical worlds? And what about those celebrities who always seem to look flawless, no matter what? It's all too perfect, if you ask me.
Let's take J.K. Rowling, for example. She created an entire magical world with Hogwarts, Quidditch, and even a sport called "bludgering." How could a mere human come up with something so complex and detailed? I'm telling you, she must be an alien.
And then there's George R.R. Martin. He's created an entire world in Westeros, complete with dragons, direwolves, and White Walkers. Plus, he's known for taking his sweet time to finish a book. Maybe he's not procrastinating, maybe he's just waiting for orders from his alien overlords.
But it's not just authors. What about celebrities like Tom Cruise and Beyoncé? They always look so perfect, like they're not even human. Maybe they're not! Maybe they're aliens sent to Earth to infiltrate human society.
Now, I know this all sounds like crazy talk, but think about it. What if we're surrounded by aliens and we don't even know it? What if they're controlling our every move, using their otherworldly powers to influence our decisions and shape our world?
So, there you have it. My conspiracy theory that authors and celebrities are secretly aliens. Take it with a grain of salt, or embrace your inner Mulder and Scully and start investigating.
Until next time, this is Crash Facepalm, signing off. #AlienAuthors #CelestialCelebrities #XFiles #InvasionOfTheBodySnatchers
Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.