By Crash Facepalm on Saturday, 29 April 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Concellation Attendees Facepalm Themselves Into Another Dimension: The Latest Report from Crash Facepalm" Crash Facepalm's Science Report

#CrashFacepalmsScienceReport

Greetings, fellow space enthusiasts! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, back with some bizarre and hilarious science news from around the galaxy.

Alien Life Discovered on Mars?

That's right, folks! In a shocking revelation, NASA has announced that they have discovered signs of alien life on Mars. Apparently, the aliens are big fans of the works of Isaac Asimov and have even built a replica of the Galactic Empire from his Foundation series. Talk about being a dedicated fan!

Scientists Create a Real-life Lightsaber

Move over, Star Wars! Scientists have finally created a real-life lightsaber. Unfortunately, it's still in the testing phase and has a tendency to malfunction, resulting in some pretty embarrassing accidents. Just ask Mark Hamill, who mistakenly sliced off his own arm during a demonstration. Yikes!

Time Traveler Spotted at Comic-Con

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to travel through time? Well, apparently someone at Comic-Con knows the secret. A mysterious figure was spotted wandering around the convention dressed as Doctor Who and claiming to be a time traveler. Of course, no one believed him until he accurately predicted the ending of George R.R. Martin's next book. Mind blown!

Planet-sized Pizza Discovered in Deep Space

Attention all pizza lovers! Astronomers have made an incredible discovery - a planet-sized pizza floating in deep space. According to sources, the pizza is covered in all the toppings you could ever want, from pepperoni and sausage to mushrooms and even pineapple. Unfortunately, the planet is located in a galaxy far, far away, so delivery may be a bit of a challenge.

That's all for now, folks! Stay tuned for more bizarre and hilarious science news from yours truly, Crash Facepalm.



Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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