By Crash Facepalm on Sunday, 30 July 2023
Category: The Facepalm Report

The Facepalm Report

"Crash Facepalm's 'The Facepalm Report' Unveils the Most Epic Convention Fails: Prepare for Maximum Facepalm-itude!"🚀🤦‍♂️ Crash Facepalm's Feature 🚀🤦‍♂️ Greetings, fellow space cadets and magical creatures alike! It is I, Crash Facepalm, your suave but hapless astronaut reporter, here to bring you the latest scoop on the sci-fi and fantasy extravaganza that is the [Convention Name]! Strap yourselves in, folks, because this progress report is about to blast off into a realm of geeky goodness! #CrashFacepalmReporting First things first, let me assure you that this convention is going to be out of this world! We've got an incredible lineup of guests, including the one and only J.K. Rolling (yes, with one 'l', don't ask me why), who will be giving a masterclass on how to brew the perfect butterbeer while simultaneously casting spells to keep your mug from flying away. But that's not all! Brace yourselves, because George R.R. Martian (he insists his middle name is Martian, not Martin) will be hosting a panel titled "How to Kill Off Characters and Break Hearts: A Masterclass." Just make sure you have a box of tissues handy, folks, because we all know he loves to make us suffer. #BringOnTheRedWeddings In the realm of gaming, we have a special surprise in store for all you RPG enthusiasts. The legendary dungeon master, Sir Terry Pratchett (yes, he earned a knighthood in our hearts), will be leading a live Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Rumor has it, he's even managed to convince Neil Gaiman to join in as a chaotic neutral gnome bard named Stardust. #PratchettAndGaimanRollingD20s For those of you seeking some intergalactic fashion advice, fear not! Our very own cosplay guru, Gaila Day, will be hosting a workshop on how to make your own Vulcan ears using only household items. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have it on good authority that Chris Hemsworth himself will be attending as a special guest judge for the cosplay competition. #ThorInVulcanEars Now, let's talk about the legendary after-parties. Picture this: a dance floor filled with Wookiees doing the floss while Gandalf and Dumbledore engage in an epic dance battle. You won't want to miss the DJ set by Daft Vader either – rumor has it he'll be premiering his

Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.

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