Greetings, fellow space enthusiasts and intergalactic geeks! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, here to bring you the most bizarre and hilarious science news from across the galaxy. Strap yourselves in for a wild ride through the cosmos!

Breaking News: Aliens Abduct Famous Sci-Fi Author!

Douglas Adums, the brilliant mind behind the "Hitchhiker's Galaxy Guide," has mysteriously vanished! Conspiracy theorists suspect extraterrestrial involvement, claiming that Adams was abducted by aliens seeking the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.

The author's disappearance coincided with reports of a UFO sighting near his home. Witnesses claimed they saw a spaceship shaped like a giant towel (an apparent nod to Adams' famous towel theory) hovering above before he vanished into thin air. Authorities are currently investigating, but we can only hope that Adams is out there, exploring the cosmos in true hitchhiker fashion.

#BringBackAdams #ToInfinityAndBeyond

Scientist Discovers Portal to Middle-Earth Inside Closet!
Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.