The Facepalm Report

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Review Tuesday: Alien Planet

Crash Facepalm's Yelp Review

#SpaceTravelProblems #AlienEncounters #SFFCon

Okay, I have to admit, I was super excited to check out this new planet. It had everything a space traveler could want: exotic landscapes, strange creatures, and absolutely no Wi-Fi. What could go wrong?

Well, let me tell you, everything.

First off, the landing was a disaster. I don't know what kind of atmosphere these aliens breathe, but it sure wasn't compatible with our ship. We ended up crash landing in the middle of a swamp. I'm pretty sure I saw a couple of tentacled things laughing at us as we sunk into the muck.

And the locals? Let's just say they weren't exactly welcoming. I tried to make friends with one of them, but apparently, my universal translator wasn't working quite right. Instead of saying "hello," I accidentally insulted his mother and challenged him to a duel. Not my finest moment.

Then there was the food. Look, I'm an adventurous eater, but I draw the line at anything that's still moving. I swear, one of the dishes we were served looked like it was trying to crawl off the plate. And don't even get me started on the drinks. I'm pretty sure the stuff they were serving was more radioactive than the average sci-fi convention attendee.

So, all in all, I can't say I had the best time on this alien planet. But hey, at least I survived to tell the tale. And who knows? Maybe next time, I'll get lucky and land on a planet with decent Wi-Fi.

Until next time, space travelers!

Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.