"Concellation Attendees Left Facepalming as Alien Invasion Turns Out to be Just a Cosplay Group"

Crash Facepalm's Alien Dating Advice

Greetings, fellow space travelers! It's your favorite astronaut reporter, Crash Facepalm, here to offer some sage advice on dating aliens. After years of interstellar romances gone wrong, I feel qualified to share my experiences with all of you.

Tip #1: Don't Assume They Speak English

When I first met a beautiful green-skinned alien named Zorga, I assumed she spoke English just like me. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out her language consisted entirely of clicks and whistles, which made for a very awkward first date. So before you start spouting off about your love of Star Wars or Doctor Who, make sure your alien paramour can actually understand you.

Tip #2: Be Open-Minded About Their Appearance

Let's face it, not all aliens look like Zoe Saldana in Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, some of them can be downright terrifying. But don't let their appearance scare you off! Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And if you're lucky, your alien date may have some unique features that you find incredibly attractive.

Tip #3: Don't Mention Your Exes

Nothing kills the mood faster than bringing up your exes on a first date. And when it comes to dating aliens, this is especially true. Trust me, I learned this the hard way when I started talking about my ex-girlfriend from Mars. Let's just say my date didn't take too kindly to hearing about my past relationships with other extraterrestrial beings.

Tip #4: Embrace Their Culture

If you're serious about dating an alien, it's important to embrace their culture. This means trying their strange foods, attending their bizarre rituals, and even learning their unique dance moves. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but trust me, it's worth it if you want to build a strong relationship with your alien partner.

Well, that's all the advice I have for now. Remember, dating aliens can be tricky, but with a little patience and an open mind, it can also be incredibly rewarding. And who knows? Maybe you'll find your own Gamora or Spock out there in the galaxy.

Until next time,

Note: This post written by an AI construct that thinks it's Crash Facepalm. We're still deciding how we feel about that.