"Area Man Shocked to Discover that 'Fifth Element' is not a Documentary"

Did you know you can get Orbit on your bod? https://orbit.concellation.com has the Space Kitty!

I think Orbit the Cat is right. And remember, you can wear Orbit on your bod! https://orbit.concellation.com - check it out!

Saturday Morning Television, for the win!

Trebuchets In Space!

How's your weekend going? Are you the pigeon or are you the statue?

Hey, it was for extra credit anyway.

What did you always want to be?

Retrospection, brought to you by our really cool merch! https://shirts.concellation.com for all the shirts and mugs, and https://www.concellation.com/store for the pins, coins, patches, stickers, lanyards and gourmet wet food.

Just kidding about the wet food. Like Orbit would share?!

And then, of course, treat yourself to some Concellation swag (like lanyards, stickers, pins, patches, coins...) at https://www.concellation.com/store!

What would you do?

This pondering brough to you by our really cool merch, which you should have lots of. https://www.concellation.com/store

What was your last "level-up?" I learned last week how to not wake up a cat.

PS: Limited Edition two-year anniversary coins going fast! Once they're gone, they're gone! Get yours at https://www.concellation.com/store now!

Cats are jerks.

https://orbit.concellation.com lets you wear Orbit on your bod, though.

One has to wonder if Orbit the Cat is multiverse-transient! Either way, remember that you can wear Orbit on your bod. Check out https://orbit.concellation.com for some really nifty shirts. Filthy lucre from profits are skimmed for charity, and Orbit gets an extra portion of wet food with every sale!

And if you're feeling ethical, remember that there's always a non-zero chance they'll be picked up by a passing Vogon constructor fleet.

Of course, you can make things better by getting a Concellation shirt or mug at https://shirts.concellation.com, but let's be honest, a donut would work better. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Looking to wear Orbit on your bod? https://orbit.concellation.com has shirts and mugs, and Orbit receives royalties in wet food, of course.

But one thing I do  know is that if you don't order your Limited Edition Two-Year Anniversary Challenge Coin soon, you might not get one! https://www.concellation.com/store has all the cool swag!

Nobody's buying it - Orbit is always noisy.

What's your favorite flavor of Jell-O?

Looks like this won't age well in a year, with the US on track to stop the insane time changes, right? Now we get people arguing over whether to stick to standard time or daylight time. Me? I'm kinda thinking "Island Time" works (otherwise known as, "sure, whenever...").

Brought to you by our killer merch at https://www.concellation.com/store - get your pins, stickers, lanyards, coins, patches, forbidden alien technology today! Just kidding about the forbidden alien technology. Or... are we?

Tiara Tuesday? Taco Tuesday? What's your Tuesday looking like?

The best part, though, is that I listen! Comment below with what YOU want for the new year. The Divine Facepalm is here for you!

I'd say it's my secret superpower, but it's not so much of a secret. What's your secret (or not-so-secret superpower?

Brought to you by our pins, coins, lanyards, patches and stickers! https://www.concellation.com/store is your gift-giving solution! (This is why I got a B- in my marketing class)

Get Orbit on your bod! https://crash.concellation.com has all the Crash Facepalm and Orbit designs. Hanukkah Harry says they make awesome gifts (and bonus, they fund our WorldCon presence and much lucre to good causes - we're looking to make our Q4 donation to an animal cause!)

Sing it if you know it!

PS: https://shirts.concellation.com has everything you need for this holiday season.

Conventions are coming back, and you really should be seen in a Concellation shirt! https://shirts.concellation.com has you covered. Plus, get some for gifts and you'll be set, early!

Come on, fess up - what's your secret identity?

Get Orbit on your bod! https://crash.concellation.com has all kinds of hoopy merch!

And there are new Orbit stickers, pins and patches at https://www.concellation.com/store - Hanukkah Harry says shop early for your gift-giving needs!

If the cool kids won't let you into their club, start your own. They're probably not as cool as they think, anyway - and regardless, your club will be better and they'll be asking to join, soon.

Orbit started the "Wet Food Club." I'm not sure Orbit gets the concept. https://orbit.concellation.com

I'm open this weekend, though... but now I'm curious - comment and tell me about your worst date, ever.

Truefax: If you have an Orbit shirt, you're safe. Mostly.

https://crash.concellation.com

Want 10% off our handcrafted merch? https://www.concellation.com/store and use code FACEPALM!

Fine, hand-crafted opinions from artisinal opiners in their home offices on Beta Antares IV.

Lay an opinion on me in the comments!

Except, I suppose, in the reverse - I have a psychic prediction that I'm going to lose!

PS: Want some swag at a discount? https://www.concellation.com/store has pins, patches, stickers, lanyards, coins and used cats. Just kidding about the cats. Use coupon code FACEPALM and get 10% off, because we're just nice that way!

Orbit insists on micromanaging the distribution of wet food. Cats are jerks.

But you can still wear Orbit on your bod - https://crash.concellation.com has all the cool designs!

Everyone loves the sound of cat claws on metal, right?

The problem, really, is deciding where to go in the first place.

I tried to come up with a witty addition, but really, the cat's on point.

Hey, wear Orbit the Cat on your bod! https://crash.facepalm.com has some awesome shirts (and mugs, too).

Payment accepted in donuts or good bourbon. Terms available. Void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise resulting in bodily harm.

That said, success will bring honor to you and your house!

An example of such a force is the sound of a can of wet food being opened. 

I have no idea why Crash Facepalm doesn't speak Cat, but at least that gives me some job security!

Wear Orbit on your bod! https://crash.concellation.com has shirts and swag, while https://www.concellation.com/store has pins and coins. Best of all, new Orbit the Cat pathes and stickers will be released today!

I think I've stumbled on to a fantastic business opportunity! Who wants a remote backrub?

Okay, failing that, how about some pins, patches or a nice Concellation lanyard? https://www.concellation.com/store has you covered!

Orbit will sit by the airlock for hours until you open it, and will then decide not to go out after all.

PS: Orbit Merch: https://orbit.concellation.com (and Crash Facepalm as well at https://crash.concellation.com)

As long as I don't get thrown under the space bus, I should be a-ok.

Even cats can have ethics.

Hey, wear Orbit on your bod! https://crash.concellation.com has all the Crash Facepalm and Orbit the Cat shirts, mugs and swag.

Honestly, it's usually Princess Anne who's doing the rescuing.

It's awesome! I won this contest, and I never win anything!

Would you like to win something? Comment on this post and tell everyone your favorite place (real or fictional) to vacation, and at the end of the day tomorrow (Friday the 8th October) I'll pick one random winner to get a Concellation prize pack (a lanyard, a couple of pins and some stickers). Yes, bribery to overcome the Farcebeek algorithm!

Only the abyss was amused.

Unless the airlock is broken, in which case just drop 'em off at the closest automated dilithium cracking station.

Please confirm - post the date in the comments. I don't think I should have eaten that mushroom stew last night...

New Crash and Orbit Shirts! https://crash.concellation.com 

Crash Facepalm is always good for some words of affirmation!

Hey, remember, you get two free stickers (Crash and Orbit) with every order at https://www.concellation.com/store, while supplies last. Get that lanyard and pin you've been wanting!

Even donuts break down now and again. It's all good!

Hey, while I've got you here, just letting you know that all orders at https://www.concellation.com/store get a free Crash Facepalm sticker and a free Orbit the Cat sticker, while supplies last! Wow, there's a lot of love today!

I haven't been back to Earth in ages. There's a reason!

Comment with the title of your favorite poem. Bonus points if it's Vogon or Klingon.

New Retro Crash Facepalm Shirts! https://crash.concellation.com to get the goods!

Orbit says one should not be concerned with dogs at all. Ever.

If you buy into the many-worlds theory, this makes perfect sense. It had to happen!

Get Crash Facepalm on your bod: https://crash.concellation.com has the goods!

On the other hand, perhaps I'm just well-trained?

Fond of Orbit the Cat? Get Orbit on your bod at https://crash.concellation.com 

Are you listening, SpaceX?! Cold pizza works, but don't mistake it for the wrong button!

Right now, they're telling me to stay calm until the coffee arrives. What do your voices tell you?

Welcome the evil Dr. Malfelinus to the mix! Meet him in the latest episode of The Adventures of Crash Facepalm at https://facepalm.live/adventures, and get his hot bod on your hot bod at https://crash.concellation.com (along with all the other Facepalm merch).