"Alien Invasion Postponed - Intergalactic Traffic Jam to Blame"

"The Daily Facepalm: When Reality is Too Much to Handle"

"Man Discovers He's Been Wearing His Shirt Inside Out All Day: World's Forehead Population Skyrockets!"

"Local Man's Face Stuck in Permanent Palm Print After Reading Internet Comments"

"Alien Invasion Foiled by Earth's Inability to Agree on Pizza Toppings: The Daily Facepalm"

"Alien Invasion Postponed Again Due to Intergalactic Traffic Jam"

"Breaking News: The Universe Decides to Facepalm Itself"

"Aliens Visit Earth, Immediately Regret It: The Daily Facepalm"

"Alien Invasion Averted: Humans Still Find Ways to Destroy Themselves"

"Alien Invasion Averted Thanks to Common Cold!"