"Alien Invasion Averted Thanks to Common Cold: Humanity Saved by Runny Noses and Sneezes!"

"Alien Invasion Postponed Due to Traffic on Intergalactic Highway: Humans Safe for Now"

"Aliens Land on Earth and Ask to Speak to Our Leader - We Show Them Twitter"

"Breaking News: World's Forehead Population Reaches Record High Due to 'The Daily Facepalm' Comic Strip!"

"Local Woman Discovers Time Travel Possible, Forgets to Bring Snacks"

"Alien Invasion Postponed: They Got Lost on the Way to Earth!"

"Alien Invasion? Nope, Just My Roommate's Cooking."

"Alien Invasion Averted After Leader Watches Earth Reality TV Shows"

"Local Man Discovers He's Been Using His Phone Upside Down for a Year: Facepalms Ensue!"

"Today's Headline: Alien Invasion Postponed Due to Intergalactic Traffic Jam"