"Another Day, Another Facepalm: The Daily Struggle of Being Surrounded by Idiots"

"Alien Invasion Postponed Due to Traffic on the Intergalactic Highway"

"Alien Invasion Postponed Due to Traffic Jam on Intergalactic Highway"

"Alien Invasion Postponed Due to Intergalactic Traffic Jam: Humanity Breathes a Sigh of Relief, Aliens Not So Much"

"Universe Still Exists Despite Latest Political Decision, Experts Stunned"

"The Daily Facepalm: Because Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh at the Stupidity"

"Local Man Discovers He's Been Using His Phone Upside Down for 6 Months Straight"

"Alien Invasion Cancelled Due to Intergalactic Traffic Jam"

"Alien Invasion Averted Again Thanks to Human's Inability to Unite Against Common Enemy"

"Alien invasion thwarted by human allergies: Intergalactic war postponed indefinitely"